Tuesday, April 30, 2013

{20w, Round 2}

Half way already.

Tiny Human number 2 is growing, I'm growing, my class is almost over and big sister will be two this weekend.  Some days I can't even remember what month it is.  Life is a whirlwind, and I'm just hanging on. I feel so blessed, a little overwhelmed, and a whole lot tired.

But not in a bad way.  It's a good thing.  I asked for this.  And I love this.

It feels like just a few days ago I was writing in this blog about our infertility treatments and struggles. Taking shots, traveling out of town for doctor appointments, feeling defeated and praying desperately for a child of my own.

And now she's about to turn two.

It still takes my breath away when I think how God chose to answer our prayers and entrust us with such an amazing gift after such a long struggle; it's almost more than I can comprehend.  We waited and prayed, we accepted His will-whatever it was-and He was faithful.  He showed us His mercy and grace in the form of a gorgeous, spunky little girl.

And then we wanted more.  Selfishly, we longed for another child to add to the unmerited favor we already had.  So with our hopes set high, we headed to New York longing for our final two embryos to complete our family, but God had other plans.

And now I'm half way through baking our second miracle.  A child that God chose to give us naturally, showing us that He really is the only one in control-the only one who can create life-no matter the circumstances.

Unlike science, He has no limits; and I'm so grateful.

Today we saw our littlest love on the big screen.  Watched her gentle, soft movements, made with perfectly formed limbs and extremities, and saw that precious, beating heart. Everything was as it should be. And as I sat there on that table, with my husband and daughter on my left and a second one growing strong and healthy under my heart, I thanked God for all of it.

For more undeserved blessing.  More unmerited favor. 

For more Grace.

But he giveth more grace.
James 4:6 (KJV)