Thursday, August 26, 2010

Pregnancy, Pee Sticks & Paper Airplanes

I realize the chances of it actually happening are pretty slim.

But that doesn't stop me from wishing God would fly down a paper airplane, full of written instructions, clearly interpreted details and endless answers to life's greatest mysteries that would land gracefully in the palm of my hand.

But after spending the last three and a half years in the midst of trials and tribulations in the form of infertility, failed treatments and countless negative pregnancy tests, I've realized that God's timing is always perfect. And sometimes-if we just hold still long enough to look for them-we'll see His paper airplanes flying all around us.

I know this because I just found a few of my own in the form of low-but-rising-betas, a positive pregnancy test, and a precious little heartbeat on a fuzzy black ultrasound screen.

I still have yet to reach that coveted place of spotless trust, full peace and complete understanding, but I have accepted that God knows what He's doing, and that's a start. For some reason He chose us to venture along this journey, and though the heartache, tears, mental and physical exhaustion were immense, they were all worth it in the end.

Because we are finally here, growing our family and looking to God to send us His own version of paper airplanes to guide us along the way. Two IUI's, four IVF's, fifty-million prayers and several pee sticks later, we are finally expecting our miracle, and getting to this point has been anything but boring.

This roller coaster has brought us right to where God intended us to be, and the ride isn't over yet. But we serve a God that is gracious and merciful, and we are praying that He'll complete this work that He's started and allow us to raise this little one up to know what an amazing, miraculous story he or she has had since the day they were conceived.

So in the meantime, while we wait for God to send us down that paper airplane with all of life's questions answered, we'll praise Him for the ones He's already granted us, and watch patiently as this new journey unfolds and brings us even more reasons to glorify Him.

And His paper airplanes.

"Everything that's worth having comes with trials worth withstanding."
Kate Voegele

20 comments:

  1. Alright, so I need to make an airplane onesie! Pink or blue? Humm....

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  2. i am crying for you right now. i adore you so much. thank you for allowing me to be apart of your journey!

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  3. LOVE, love, LoVe the new blog!! I am so excited for you guys!!!

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  4. Love the new blog! Thank you so much Tab for the invite..I am honored to follow this journey.

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  5. Praising God for your little miracle. I am so happy for you. Thank you for allowing me to be part of your journey. I will keep praying!

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  6. gah- i LOVE this!!
    i got giddy when i saw the invite in my inbox :)

    Praise God that this new blog can even be a reality <3

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  7. Beautifully stated! I'm so glad you finally got your miracle.

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  8. Oh, I'm so so happy for you!! I'd been checking back on your old blog periodically to see any updates and I'm so excited to start reading this new blog:)

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  9. I am so very happy for you T, I alwasy knew you'd get here.

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  10. Love the new blog and can't wait to continue reading your story :)

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  11. Love it :) Excited for this new journey!
    ~Alyssa

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  12. Hooray for a new blog! Love it can can't wait to hear all about your pregnancy journey. So exciting!! xoxo

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  13. Thanks so much for the invite- I cant wait to follow along and watch your beauitful baby grow :)

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  14. As always, so beautifully written Tab. I can't wait to read and follow you through this new journey. How blessed this child will be to have you as his or her mother.
    Hugs,
    Sarah

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  15. Tab, This is so exciting! It's just perfect. I absolutely lost my breath to see your babe there in the ticker looking just like a real baby! I makes me squeal with delight! So honored to be with you on this journey.

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  16. I am sooo excited for you and your family! Thank you for allowing me to follow during your new adventure! Good luck and God bless!

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  17. Love the new blog! I cannot wait to follow your journey through your pregnancy and beyond! I am beyond elated for you!!

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  18. Thanks for inviting me to be a part of this journey. Wishing you a healthy 9 months!!

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  19. What a blessing! So proud of you guys for never giving up and for putting your full faith in God. Very inspiring. God bless you and your new growing family! So excited to read all of your updates, so that I can update my family :)
    Sending lots of love and wishing great mommy memories your way!!

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